Monday, September 2, 2013

What is that SMELL????!!!!

It starts...

You wake up one morning and suddenly can't stand the smell of your husband's cologne/aftershave/deodorant.  Gasping for breath after the traditional good morning good-bye hug, you run to the window and throw it open for some fresh air.  Except it's already 80 degrees outside and the stifling hot air causes your stomach to churn even more...  So you shut the window and run to the thermostat and crank the AC up for a blast of cold air, then run out of the room to a room on the far side of the house where the smell of whatever hubby sprayed all over the bathroom cannot reach you.

Later, you decide to take a shower.  But for some totally foreign reason which you can't comprehend, you can't stand hot water on your body.  Maybe it creates too much mugginess in the air of the shower? Whatever, it makes you want to puke.  So you take a tepid lukewarm shower, shaving your legs over goosebumps and getting major razor burn.

When you shampoo your hair, the smell of your shampoo hits your nostrils and the gagging starts, so you hold your breath until you nearly pass out, then hold it again until you're done shampooing and conditioning your hair.  Then you exit the shower and hastily run out of the room, continuing to gag because your own shampoo smell is too thick in the bathroom air.

Then you put on lotion.  Oops, that one is WAAAAAAAAAY too strong.  Hop in shower again and rinse lotion off.  Hop out of shower and deal with dry skin.

Then you brush your teeth, and almost gag at the taste of the old toothpaste.  And since you'll be brushing your teeth five times a day to get rid of gagging food breath, this isn't going to work.

Time to go shopping and buy totally new mildly scented shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, lotion, deodorant, and a new flavor of toothpaste.

*personal tip - I stick with lightly coconut scented things, thankfully I can handle that (for now.)

Now it's time to change out every Scentsy plug-in candle scent in the house.  Wait, not grapefruit or citrus scented (which used to be my absolute favorite)!  Try something new.  Hate it, remove it immediately, put something else in...  trial and error.  Cinnamon might work..... for this minute.

And what about the Bath and Body Works hand soap and sanitizer your purchased not even a month ago?  Donate it or chuck it. 

Now it's time to make lunch for the kids.  Oh for the love of food, do NOT bring that packet of Ramen noodle seasoning anywhere near me!  Microwave popcorn too, ugh!   Puke-ville.  Flavored chips, nope.  Pepperoni, gross!  All right kids, grab whatever you want out of the pantry and go eat it outside!

Dinner is a new can of worms, hop in the car we're going through McD's drive-up...  again... for the 7th time this week...

I think I need a noseplug.

1 comment:

Mindy said...

Brings back such bad bad memories!! I admire you so much for doing it again because they really are so worth it but everything you just described were my pregnancies to a T except olivia, never got sick with her.

Feel better :{